march 29

mon. march 29. 2010.

mon. march 29. 2010.

i love waking tangled in the
mess you have become
sleepy, you let yourself be
unsure, undone

march 28

sun. march 28. 2010.

i don't like what i am becoming
or this blog

take me home

march 27

sat. march 27. 2010.

in an attempt to recover
we downed quickly what we couldn't taste
and went dancing

march 26

fri. march 26. 2010.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS ANGRY. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

march 25

thurs. march 25. 2010.

i know this is right, meaning,
i know we were wrong
it was just so nice to not be alone

march 24

wed. march 24. 2010.

i miss you.

march 23

tues. march 23. 2010.

i won't let myself be lonely, and i think it's about time i did.

march 22

mon. march 22. 2010.

RAWR

march 21

sun. march 21. 2010.

and i have nothing to say that i haven't already said.

march 20

sat. march 20. 2010.

honestly i've been feeling like crap.

march 19

fri. march 19. 2010.

i've
been
good
to
you

march 18

thurs. march 18. 2010.

laying on the lawn with my roomies :)

march 17

wed. march 17. 2010.

you and i
close, so close,
the way we shouldn't be

march 16

tues. march 16.

change is gonna come
[we hope]

march 15

mon. march 15. 2010.

priorities:
being outside
being with people
getting things done

seems out of order

march 14

sun. march 14. 2010.

[happy pi day!!!]

it feels good to be back with someone to hold me.

march 13

sat. march 13. 2010.

hi, i'm charming and i like to fight and love to love. i usually look right but i usually go left, which usually means i'm going wherever i'm going and i'm going there blind. i'm ready to get hitched and i'm only eighteen and i need to get out of this mindset- i can't make anyone fall in love with me. i need to be. TO THE OCEAN. TO THE MOON. to the fields, to hills with purpled shadows, to sandy ponds, to the quietest corners of the soul. i think i'd find something in being alone as well as i could find something in being in love. willa cather, i want to be your antonia; i want to see what she saw and live what she lived. spring, come, release me, and summer complete me.

march 12

fri. march 12. 2010.

freedom, linger.
warmth and rain, remain.
hope and serendipity,
time languid and dewy,
love, rest; love, stay.

march 11

thurs. march 11. 2010.

today i went treasure hunting.

march 10

wed. march 10. 2010.

oops..

march 09

tues. march 09. 2010.

i never want a night like this one again.

i had to hold my brother's face in my hands and make him look at me till he stopped yelling and started crying. i know i'm the only person he wouldn't hit.

march 08

mon. march 08. 2010.

the weather was warm enough today to ride bikes and feel normal.

march 07

sun. march 07. 2010.

talking to strangers, swing dancing in the street, running off to taste olive oils and aged vinegar, hopping gates and slipping on the ice, pictures with statues, home and garden expo.

you're fun.

march 06

sat. march 06. 2010.

i want to be back on the stage
costumed and flushed and completely not me

like that time i played a child and i was bouncy and giggling and didn’t worry, only wondered.

or that time i played a jazz singer and had to find some soul, because something like that you can’t fake.

or that time i played a street beat poet and i dressed all in black and swore. and i got to be something mean, something pained, something daring and passionate.

i felt so vivid afterwards.

march 05

friday. march 05. 2010.

i think you're wrong about god
and i think you're wrong about time
and i know you're wrong about reality
we are not brains in a vat-
call me a naturalist,
fine, if you insist.
but i like that you fight;
you make other people think
what they never thought they would.
i like that you admit
you don't have a goddamn clue,
you just want to wonder
and you want me to.

march 04

thurs. march 04. 2010.

time to be better.

march 03

wed. march 03. 2010.

don't panic.

march 02

tues. march 02. 2010.

having grown used to always being okay in the end, i see no need to worry, and sometimes no need to work.

march 01

mon. march 1. 2010.

i've grown disgusted of our accustomed lives
we say we try but lie
maybe we haven't had it all
or we haven't had it easy
but we've had
and if i'd look past my own nose
over my belly
i'd realize i'm fucking blessed
life is fucking brilliant
pardon the french, but hey,
it has history
i've got blistering passion
somewhere inside of me
confine it for my own ease, it takes
too much to dare doing more than just dream
somewhere beneath the shit i've bought that
i don't need and the excuses i make
to soothe my self loathing
i could be something worth loving.

feb 28

sun. feb 28. 2010.

i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
i will not indulge in angst
SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE !!!

feb 27

sat. feb 27. 2010.

i slept all day. too sick to move. this is where i wish i was:

feb 26

fri. feb 26. 2010.

wandering without boots
wasn't really worth it