today i am electric

I.

Today I am electric. I woke up at the end of a dream, and you were there. I saw the morning, the earlier light that dresses everything in the need to be known: quietly, deliberately, in time. Warm shower, cool air, wild hair. My voice is airy, it is snagging on sickness-- good enough to croon but not for what I need to do. I am nervous, fidgeting but I am telling myself-- keep your arms open, pretend the stage is three times this size, these faces are unfamiliar and far. Sing like you did before. You are the morning. You are electric.

II.

Loose live wire. Sparks on the floor, the walls; my angles and curves, my walk, the turn of my head, all shooting off agitated light. I am escaping, in spurts. Reserve so shocked it dissolves and soon all I'll be is glowing. Turn myself inside out: I am better this way. Radiation you can touch, or it will reach to you. I will reflect and bend and when I break I'll make beauty.

I hold the morning in my belly; I swallow it like a flood and it fills me. Precious low light, more golden, intimate-- I can emerge in your protective shade, and lay myself out, calm and bare.

I have so much to give, so long as I let light be light-- then he will hold me like he does, warm me through and draw me out and all I'll be is glowing.

dear reilly (a response to his lonely ramblings)

Love never leaves us.

Sometimes, we just forget or refuse to accept its presence, either because we don't believe in it anymore or we are aching for the past or something along those lines.

But love is not necessarily constant. It can change shape. A lover can become a friend, or a friend a lover, or friends can fill in the gap a lover leaves-- love changes faces and contexts and action and merit, but it is still there.

You have been loved, and you are loved, and you will be loved.
Let it happen.

film-nature shots

pu-u-u-u-u-u-ull
me away lay
me low scatter me
my seedy potential
too much sun too much
flood
and i will
gro-o-o-o-o-o-ow

bropocalypse

plank

i could stay
cling to-- illusion?
in a quivering limbo
thinking if only i could hold still
i could make things right

but what i need
maybe?
is to unravel
raise myself on my toes
and fall without looking
into all that there really is